How To Talk About Commitment To Your Man
There is nothing that can make a relationship as confusing as not knowing where the relationship is going, and how involved both parties actually want to be in it. This is why it can be extremely valuable to have a clear conversation with your man about commitment. Get more information and advice on relationships on the GoMarry.com site, to help you find your way in your relationship.
You can take the following steps when talking with your partner about this:
Before you start talking to your man, make sure that you have a concise idea of what you want to speak about, and where you would like the conversation to go. There is no point in talking to him about this if you don’t know what you expect out of the conversation. Be realistic in your expectations though; for example, if you have only been in a relationship for 3 months, it’s not fair on the other person if you demand a commitment to marriage from them. Once you’ve figured out what you want from the conversation, gauge how your man is feeling to make sure you don’t talk to him about this at the wrong time.
Don’t expect your man to react immediately when you bring up the topic to him. He could need some time to gather his thoughts, so respect his decision if he asks for a bit of time to think before you have the actual conversation. However, don’t let the talk dwindle out of mind; there is no point in delaying the conversation indefinitely, so if needed, make a timed appointment for when you will have it. At the same time, remember that there are two people in this conversation, so it may not go as you thought it would; do not let this derail what you want to talk about, merely wait for an appropriate time later in the conversation.
Choose the Correct Time and Place
When and where you choose to have the conversation can majorly influence how the man will respond. Don’t make him feel trapped or cornered, such as when you are in the car, or at a family event. Make sure that the atmosphere is appropriate and relaxed, and that you will have enough time. You definitely don’t want this conversation to be rushed, as this may cause tempers to flare unnecessarily.
Start the Conversation Correctly
Try not to use clichés when initiating the conversation, such as “We need to talk”, as this may make him anxious or feel as though he is about to be judged. Also, don’t start with confrontational openers like “Where do you see this relationship going?”. Rather, make a positive statement to initiate the talk, especially one which will make him feel good, such as admiring some of his personal characteristics. Ultimately, you want to set the scene for a relaxed, open, and positive conversation.
Have the Conversation
Speak directly about what you want to talk to him about. Don’t beat around the bush or use ambiguous phrases; you want to come across as confident and goal-driven so that he knows what you expect from him in the conversation. Bring up the different points you want to mention at appropriate times, and if need be, continue the conversation at a different point in time.
When you’ve come to an agreement on what you both want to do to further the relationship, do so slowly. Don’t try to rush the actions, rather take your time and make sure you get to your destination happily.
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