How To Heal Yourself By Being Present
I belief in holistic healing, I accept that all around me is a mirror of my being that is helping me to become whole again. I may not understand it, I may not like it, I may be afraid, worried or angry, but I still accept it as the Divine Source sharing her messages for my wellbeing. Every moment again I have the choice to be open to listen, to learn or to be closed off. And when I close off, I also accept and be with it fully and feel the consequences of it, till I naturally choose to be open and in harmony again.
Autumn last year I made an innocent movement and suddenly felt a burning sensation in my ring fingers. After some examination, it appeared I had a severe muscle spasm in my neck and a disk touching my nerve – the triple burner meridian. It made sense, over the last years I had been burning away quite a few old patterns and constantly transforming myself and my work in order to serve others. I took little time for myself, to simply be. Not being able to use my hands as actively as usual, was helping me to slow down.
As I live with my horses in Petra, it is not easy to get proper treatment. I need to travel 3 hours to Amman, but since this was about taking time for myself, I would travel north as often as I could for healthcare. The moment I started the treatment – detox bath, chinese massage, electrical stimulation and osteopathy – my throat chakra opened up. My feelings surfaced more easily, boundaries I put clearly (at times a bit to strong) and my relationships with people intensified. In essence, my truth became clearer and sources of negative energy would drop away as it simply would not resonate with me any longer. I centered in a more peaceful state of being,
Throat chakra = creative sound vibration
Healing the energy block in my throat let my truth resonate more deeply and hence deepen by connection with others. Still physically I needed some help to release the long-stored tension in my trapezium and neck muscles. I had to spent about two weeks in Amman in order to have traction, electrical stimulation, laser therapy, manual therapy and osteopathy. My muscles relaxed, yet my mental and emotional bodies still needed work in order to fully heal: I journeyed for inspiration, went to a 5 Rhythms class and joined a voice & sound workshop. My physiotherapist would frown upon learning of my additional alternative healing actions and me not just sticking to her routine, but I took the opportunities life was offering me in order to deepen my awareness. Then at the end of the physiotherapy, a young colleague took over and – being new and a bit nervous – she gave me her full attention. And it was her heart felt touch that got through and helped me to become aware of and release the emotion that was behind the block. So although the numbness in my hands has not disappeared fully, I now know what to work with during my yoga, meditation and horse therapy.
Spending time with horses brings me in the moment. My injury slowed me down, it allowed me to be more attentive of my emotions, before I would jump into action. So that day at the stable, when I felt nervous I decided to not go riding, but instead I took my book on integrating traumatic experiences and sat down in the paddock. Soon my youngest horse came lying down with me. I continued reading; sun on my face, fully absorbed when I heard a sound beside me: my young mare lay down just half a meter away. She could have done this anywhere in the large paddock, but she was right there with us. In stillness we sat there as I was observing what was going on in my inner-world. I breathed deeply and felt a softening. Then I got the idea to move into where both their faces were. It meant I was fully stepping in the moment with them.
After being with them for quite a while I felt the need to lie down for a bit. So I did my neck exercises and asked my body what it needed. And before soon I dropped into a baby memory that was full of loving care and golden light. The light and love filling me fully. Apparently I had become so calm a mouse had the courage to sit on my hand, which brought me right back into this reality, but the loving and harmonic feeling was still with me. And whenever I get into a situation where this seems to get compromised I can relax, knowing I will attract encounters – in whatever form they come – to bring me right back to my natural state of peaceful and healthy being.
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