How Does Not Adhering To Brahmacharya Affect One’s Emotions And Mindset?
Not adhering to brahmacharya can be in three ways; pre-marital, extra-marital, and with a spouse. The former two, which is illicit sex, are very dangerous, and one has to suffer enormous painful miseries, mentally, emotionally and physically, in this life and even after that. The latter i.e. sex with spouse is okay; however, if the couple understands the benefits of brahmacharya and lives in normality (only when both want), they can live a conflict-free, happy life.
Let’s see how abrahmacharya (incontinence of sexual impulses) affects one physically, emotionally and mentally and how to manage them.
If one gets hurt on his arm and starts bleeding, why does he do everything to stop the bleeding? What would happen if he bleeds excessively? The body will become weak. Similarly, when one does not adhere to brahmacharya, the mind and body become weak. The ultimate extract of our nourishment is semen, and it is dissipated and lost in sex. If this ‘extract’ remains properly preserved, one can attain the Self easily, and no pain in the world can come.
If you make a steadfast determination to practice celibacy no matter what happens, then your mind will become more stable. A person practicing brahmacharya can harness the power of the mind, body, and speech and can accomplish anything. Practicing brahmacharya increases concentration and grasping power. If brahmacharya is preserved for a few years with the right control, then the semen energy rises. After that, one can retain the spiritual essence of any of these scriptures and books. Otherwise, it is not easy to retain its essence; you will forget as soon as you read something. Will-power increases by practicing brahmacharya, which means that you can do anything you set your mind to.
Not adhering to brahmacharya makes us emotionally weak. With sexual interaction, begins the laying of claims and demands for and against each other. As long as sexual relation exists, interference and reaction quarrels will exist for sure—interference results in a clash. The root cause of attachment and hatred is sexual interaction that perpetuates wandering life after life. If you eat mangoes, no one will question you even if you don’t eat them at all or eat more. The mangoes will not file a claim against you. Nevertheless, in this relation (sexual interaction), if you say, ‘I don’t want to’, she will say, ‘no, I want it for sure’. If she says, ‘I want to go to a movie’, and if you don’t go, there will be a fight. All of the nagging and bickering is due to sex.
In olden days, the sages and ascetics lived as friends with their wives, and hence did not have any problems or quarrels.
When you conquer the King, you get everything; his army, his kingdom and power too. You get his whole army. You cannot win over the king if you try to defeat the army. Similarly, once you conquer this ‘King of sexuality,’ you win over the world. You no longer remain dependent on anything in the world because, in reality, celibacy is the king of the body.
The mind is the one that shows contradictory thoughts about getting married and practicing celibacy. When the eyes get attracted, we should understand that it is because of the mind and immediately cut off the thoughts. The mind looks for ways out. It looks to settle in places where no efforts are required. But if you do not do as the mind tells you, then it will settle down.
The mind is not to be suppressed; it is to be conquered. To conquer means to win. The mind will settle down if it gets closure by the right understanding. The Knowledge of the Self is the only thing in the world that can subdue the mind. Owing to the self’s ignorance, we believe that really ‘I am the body,’ and therefore, one thinks about having sex. However, when one attains Self-realization, the conviction changes from ‘I am the body’ to really ‘I am Pure Soul’. One begins to experience eternal bliss, which is the intrinsic property of Pure Soul.
“In this kaliyug, the current era of the time cycle, characterized by a progressive decline in spiritual knowledge and moral deterioration, it is challenging to practice brahmacharya (live life without sex). Our Gnan (Self-Realization) is the ocean of bliss, and therefore one’s practice of brahmacharya is possible. What is the reason for abrahmacharya and sexual indulgence? It is due to the fire of inner restlessness and discontentment. To quench this fire of restlessness and discontent within, one indulges in transient pleasures of sex. Because of this Gnan there is not a problem for you for moksha, but if there is brahmacharya along with this Gnan, the resultant bliss is boundless and eternal.” — Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan
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