How Do You Lose Your Attachment To Someone That’s No Good For You?
We often come across people and situations that are not good for us. Sometimes, such circumstances do not last long nor do they have a lot of influence on our lives. But sometimes, we may become closely involved in something or with someone that brings us nothing but pain, misery and trouble, leading us not towards growth and development but towards mistakes and downfall. Now, the first step towards finding a way out of such situations is to lose attachment towards the person or thing that has kept us bound to them so far. But how do we do that?
Let us look at a simple example. Let us say we are friends with a person who is not good for us. In the beginning this person seemed alright, but as time went by, and we came to know them better, we realized that they might not be the best influence on us. Not only do they make terrible choices in their own life, but often pressure us to do the same. But it seems difficult to avoid their presence because they have somehow come to occupy an important place in our life. It has become nearly impossible to do anything without them getting to know about it, which makes them try to influence whatever is going on. In short, they are a ‘toxic’ friend or a ‘bad’ company (kusang)!
Ideally, the trick to get rid of attachment towards someone like this is to simply realize that they are indeed not good for us. Once we do that, our own sense of self-preservation, which places our well-being as the highest priority, will help us avoid falling into a further trap of attachment for this person. Over time, the ties that had kept us bound will weaken and we will feel more and more liberated. In reality, however, the illusory attachment that is blinding us in that person’s influence (moh) might not let us realize the extent of harm such a person can do to us.
Still, if we get even an inkling, which we almost always do, we can find ways to not only reduce our attachment but also distance ourselves from that person slowly, without hurting them. Logic being the antidote to emotions, a careful and neutral analysis of our relationship with someone like a toxic friend (described above) will help show us the way. But even if we slowly and gradually become completely detached from this one person, we run the risk of repeating this same mistake all over again. So is there a way to not fall into this trap ever?
Yes! There is a way to become completely free from all attachments whatsoever such that moh can never exercise its influence on us. That is the way of Self-Realization!
The One who is free from attachments is an embodiment of Pure Love!!!
The knowledge that one is a Pure Soul – that which is totally asang (free from all association) and full of Pure Love – will lead us to the stage of complete detachment, or in other words, a stage of Pure Love for every living being in this world, such as was experienced by the Enlightened Ones.
It is a matter of great fortune that in this day and age, Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan has opened up the path of Akram Vignan that helps us attain this stage with the direct grace of the Living Gnani, the Embodiment of Pure Love. He imparts Self-Realization and leads us to Moksha, the final and ultimate liberation, and a state of everlasting bliss!
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