How Do I Control My Anger And Ego?
Anger and ego can only be controlled through understanding.
If one fails to understand the anger and tries to suppress it, one may be suppressing peace instead, so peace will perish.
Therefore, anger is not something that one can suppress. One has to understand that anger is ego. Analyse the ego that causes anger. When one realizes the cause of anger, one can bring about change in its subsequent effects too.
Let us explore the different ways in which our ego is hurt, as a result of which anger is expressed:
● When things do not go our way
● When we are misunderstood by others
● When our opinion differs with someone else
● When our expectations are not met
● When our preconceived opinions about someone get in the way whilst interacting with them
● When someone says hurtful or mean things to us
Once you identify the different causes of anger, you can start to deal with them, even before they result in anger.
In trying to protect our pride or hurt, we become angry. When we get angry, we become emotional. We cannot think clearly and consequently we lose foresight and common sense.
For example, if a child breaks something valuable and we get angry, this is because our ego has been hurt. It is the kind of ego that tells us that we have incurred a loss from the breakage; it is governed by profit and loss.
We have to think about how we will go about removing this kind of ego which brings us pain and suffering. Otherwise, by protecting the ego, the anger will continue.
Anger and greed are at the very core of the ego.
First steps to control anger:
1) Realise the effects that anger has on you and others.
2) Each time you get angry, analyse why this has happened and with whom. Is there a pattern?
3) Think of the consequences of becoming angry – how did you feel? What were the effects, eg. in terms of relationship with the person concerned?
4) Ask for forgiveness (pratikraman), at least a couple of times, each time someone is hurt by your anger. This will pacify your mind and the opinions you hold for that person or that circumstance.
5) Never protect the effects of anger. Always maintain from within that it is wrong to get angry. When you oppose your actions through your intent, you are changing the effect
Acquire Self-Realisation to be released from the effects of anger forever.
Anger will persist as long as you believe yourself to be the owner of the name, body and the ego. But after one acquires the knowledge of the Self (the Pure Soul), the right understanding has been established. You realise who gets angry, and through this right knowledge, you learn to remain detached. You do not experience the effects of anger. You just know, through the medium of the Self, the anger that is happening and its intensity. By ‘Knowing and Seeing’ the effects of anger, you are dissolving each layer of anger forever…
To control anger and ego, one must first understand the cause behind getting angry; and every time one becomes angry, one must remember to ask for forgiveness. This will soften the effects of anger on you and those concerned. Secondly, have a deep inner intent to attain the knowledge of the Self and be permanently free from anger itself.
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