How Can I Stop Looking At Myself Negatively?…


How Can I Stop Looking At Myself Negatively?



As human beings, we are constantly looking at ourselves so that we can try and become a better person by getting rid of our flaws and inculcating good habits in us. However, it is very important that we maintain a balanced approach while looking at or assessing our own selves. Our views should:

● neither become too positive such that we fail to see our own shortcomings,

● nor should they be too negative such that we fall into the pit of depression.

Anything above or below normal could prove dangerous.

If we find that we are constantly feeling negative about ourselves, let’s learn how to deal with it. The first step is to identify the reason behind this negativity.

Generally, there are two main reasons which cause us to adopt a self-criticizing approach. We:

1. End up hurting others and then feel bad about it, or

2. Feel highly disappointed when we are not able to live up to the standards we’ve set for ourselves.

The root cause of both these reasons is ego.

1. We feel bad when we hurt someone because we believe we are the doers of those hurtful actions. The belief of doership is nothing but ego. When we say “I did this” or “I hurt them,” we are generally speaking out of our ego (ahankara). This creates a burden of doership since we think we are the doer. Instead, if we understand the fact that our actions are a result of our past karmas, then we can remain detached and maintain a neutral approach towards our actions. This will enable us to identify our mistakes more efficiently.

To get rid of our faults that we have identified:

We shall do pratikraman.



Pratikraman is the three step process of seeking forgiveness wherein:

1. We identify our mistake,

2. Seek forgiveness and

3. Resolve never to repeat the mistake.

We shall pray to God:

It may happen that owing to our past karmas, despite not wanting to hurt others, we notice within us a tendency to do so. If so, we can pray to Dada Bhagwan that “even though I end up doing so, I do not like to hurt others. Please bless me that I may never hurt another being.” This will help relieve the burden. Moreover, because of our firm determination to not hurt others, eventually a time will come when we are freed from this unwanted tendency.

2. Self-disappointment also stems from ego.

Our thoughts like, “I must be able to do this much, or I must know that much or I must behave like this”, are again a product of our ego. When we fail to live up to our expectations, we feel sad, and even depressed. We need to understand that whatever we are able to or not able to do, is the result or effect of the causes of our past karmas. It is wrong to identify with the body complex, when in reality, we are nothing but pure Soul. Therefore, while we can keep ordinary expectations from ourselves for purposes of worldly interactions, we must not get attached such that we get affected when we cannot fulfill them.

Set realistic goals: If we notice that we are getting affected whenever we fail to live up to our expectations, we can develop a habit of setting small and realistic goals for ourselves. This will not only allow us to experience positivity when we achieve these goals, but also help maintain our self-confidence.

To counter self-negativity, practice seeing positivity. Every person and every circumstance has some or the other positive aspect associated with it. To counter our self-negativity, we will make a conscious effort to see the positive in everything. At the end of each day, we can note down at least one positive quality or act of behavior seen in ourselves and also in people around us. This will help balance out all the negativity that arises within and will keep us happy and merry through the thick and thin.



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Dada Bhagwan Bhagwan

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In June 1958, spontaneous Self-Realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. From this point on, Ambalal became a Gnani Purush, and…

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