Healing Yourself So You Can Stop Being A Passenger In Your Love Life
It is pretty obvious that the dating world is complicated and at times pretty discouraging, but it is far better to open up your romantic energy for a potential partner rather than be a passenger in your love life.
Many people are afraid to leave the secure “those walls we surround ourselves with to guard against being hurt” for the insecure “being open and feeling vulnerable,” however, that comfort zone is not helping you. Even though it is your go-to in order to avoid rejection, it is a counterproductive coping mechanism because it leaves you with feelings of isolation, being stagnant, and overall loneliness.
Yes, there is a sense of feeling safe because most people think they have avoided the hurt of rejection, but because of this they have secluded themselves and have a stagnant dating life, plus the feelings of being doomed to be single which is not what they truly want for their love lives. There is no room for progress when you’re stuck emotionally.
My belief is there’s no comfort in being trapped because we are meant to grow as individuals. It is time to heal your love life, and stop holding back from dating because you’re afraid it will be scary- putting up walls does not protect anyone from feelings of worthlessness.
Here is my advice is make a “Heal your confidence” game plan so you can get out of your comfort zone.
• Try things like doing something you’ve been putting off that makes you nervous but you know it will be enjoyable! Keep at it because the practice will result in the habit of pushing yourself to not procrastinate, and that will get you out of comfort zone plus build some confidence.
• Start asking questions on forums, commenting on a post, messaging, calling about a job you are interested in, organizations or meet-ups, you want to join. This is practice for putting yourself out there if they say no then you’ll be in the habit of letting it go and moving on. And, when you’re ready to ask someone out, you’ll have confidence even if they say “No!”
• Establish a new routine by becoming active; it could be anything from going to the gym, Martial Arts, Pilates, or Crossfit, to boost your confidence you need something that gets you moving to change your habits, it will help get you out of your rut and into activities that empower you.
• Also, try doing putting yourself in a zone, think about a time when you felt the most confident, explore all the feelings, relive it, and do this every time you need a reminder of how badass you really are and shed all of your self-doubts! That way, when you’re about to ask someone out your confidence is authentic.
Being confident about dating takes time and practice, especially if you have been in this rut for several months or longer. I know it is not easy to gain enough confidence to approach someone you’re interested in or even put yourself out there so you can meet some potential partners for a relationship but find your sweet spot. By sweet spot, I mean that one thing that makes you feel confident is?
Think back to a time in when you felt the most empowered and get back in that headspace, the more you practice this, the more you will feel like you can win at life and love again.
Do this and combined some of the advice I stated above and use it to give you that boost you need in your approach, so you lead with confidence and not guards that stop you from dating, here’s to healing yourself and finding love.
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