Mending A Broken Heart: 7 Steps To Heal And Love Again
Healing the Heart
Recently, while watching a predictable romantic drama, I felt inclined to turn it off, but my intuition urged me to continue. My heart was stirred by a character named Kate. Afraid to open to love, she became vulnerable enough to voice her pent-up fear: “But if I do this, it’s going to end someday, and it’s going to hurt all over again.”
In that moment, the bittersweet nature of relationships gone wrong traveled through me like the vibration of a didgeridoo ringing across the Australian outback.
Years ago, a boyfriend used the example of flavors to end the relationship. He said he couldn’t see himself being with just one woman the rest of his life and likened women to flavors of ice cream. “I want to experience chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. I can’t imagine eating just vanilla the rest of my life,” he explained.
Why couldn’t he see I wasn’t “just vanilla?” After all, we were talking about marriage. I still snarl when passing a 31 Flavors ice cream store.
Are you choosing to be alone because it’s easier than surviving the pain of another potentially heartbreaking relationship? You will know if you’re choosing, either consciously or subconsciously, to be alone, because your outer reality will reflect it back. Perhaps the people who are showing up in your life are spiritually, emotionally, or physically unavailable.
Maybe they don’t show up for your life or their own. Maybe they live too far away, are in a relationship, or are too young, too old, or non-committal. We really do create our own reality.
Thanks to Kate, I set my intention to heal my heart from the bitter aftertaste of love’s bite. The day I set this intention, the Universe affirmed its loving support of my healing process. While in line at the coffee shop, I glanced down at a package of coffee. The words “Life is too short to be bitter” jumped out at me like a flashy Las Vegas marquee. Thank you, Universe!
The great poet and Sufi mystic, Rumi, said: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” How can you open up to allow romantic love—even a blissful partnership—into your life again? Below are seven steps to heal your heart and allow you to love again.
1. Be Still and Feel
Acknowledge what feelings are present or may be buried in your heart related to love.
The key to healing your heart is to be willing to feel what’s inside. Stop running, stop denying, stop being too busy to feel.
Be still, get real, and feel; shed a few tears.
2. Understand the Lesson
Ask yourself: What lesson is there to “get” for my spiritual evolution?
What gift did that person or experience provide? In my case, the relationship provided spiritual knowledge, personal growth, and the opportunity to experience a depth of love I hadn’t known previously. A gift indeed!
To forgive means to cease to feel resentment against. This includes releasing yourself from guilt or regrets for your words or actions in past relationships.
Affirm: “I love myself, therefore I forgive and totally release the past and all past experiences. I am free.”
4. Be Vulnerable
We are vulnerable either when in love or when alone. Open up to believe you can love again.
Affirm: “Love is for me. It is safe to love again. My love life is a reflection of the infinite generosity of the Universe.”
5. Return to Gratitude
Feel gratitude for the person, the experience of love, fond memories, and lessons learned.
Gather the good times shared and store them away in the locket of your heart.
6. Create a New Vision
Use your past experiences to gain clarity. What worked and what didn’t work for you in the relationship? What would you like to create in your next relationship?
Write it down, make a vision board, draw, collage, or paint it! Place your order with the Universe.
7. Shine Your Inner Light
At the heart level, shining your inner light means living in authenticity, which requires being true to yourself. At the soul level, it means naturally sharing the essence of who you are with people.
Just as a flower emits its own unique fragrance, people are irresistibly drawn to breathe in its scent and gaze in awe at its beauty.
This is the effect you have as you shine your inner light!
Marianne Williamson said: “As we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
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