Forgiveness As Our Life’s Work

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There’s so much talk about forgiveness in the Christian tradition. I grew up a bit confused about why anyone would turn the other cheek? Where do boundaries fit in with this? Is forgiveness the equivalent of being a doormat and allowing someone to walk all over you?

I have been studying Intuitive Intelligence at the Institute for Intuitive Intelligence under Dr Ricci-Jane Adams. And in this journey I have learned more about forgiveness.

If we believe that we are separate from each other and from God, then there is a you, me, us and them. I am wrong, bad or guilty or they are wrong, bad or guilty. But if we understand that we are interconnected and that there is only one of us here then there is no us and them.

Also if there is no separation between us and God then we are not wrong or bad either. Nothing has gone wrong or is wrong. The separation has never occurred. No separation between us and God. There is no guilt or right or wrong.

Discarding the concept of separation may seem extreme. It doesn’t imply that we can’t experience trauma. I know. I’ve had my fair share of it. Probably more than my fair share. It doesn’t mean that we should tolerate treatment that is intolerable. We should practice discernment and remove ourselves from hurtful our dangerous situations if we are able to. We should protect ourselves.

But from a spiritual perspective if we are infinite and we are one then we are one with our divinity too. This means that the separation never occurred. Not from each other and not from God. The person who has hurt you has taught you how to forgive. That was their role in your life. It’s a soul lesson.

Many of us are familiar with the often quoted phrase from Rumi:  “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”

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But in the book, One Mind, there is reference to degrees of our relationship and connection with God.  “As the Hindu sage Shankara put it in the 8th century: Thou difference be none, I am of Thee, Not Thou, O Lord, of me;  For of the sea is verily the wave,  Not of the Wave the Sea.” 1

Which means that God is in us. We are fully divine. But while God is fully in us we may not necessarily fully encapsulate all of God. And I’m ok with that thought. Anthropos – fully human and fully divine.

But going back to forgiveness. When we have learned our soul lessons and there’s nothing more to forgive then maybe our soul lessons will subside? I’m not sure.

But I do know that for me personally it is my own perceived transgressions that are hardest to forgive. Having compassion for myself has allowed me to step out of being a victim and step into my power. This is what healing is. A return to wholeness.

(Plus removing myself from painful situations of course.)

1. Falk, The Science of the Soul: 2 as referenced in Larry Dossey MD, One Mind, page 212 -213