Ego Is Harmful. How To Deal With It?
No matter how many good qualities we may have, but as soon as our ego raises its head, all the good inside us gets nullified in the eyes of the other person. Ego is generally disliked by everyone as it is laden with pride, arrogance, jealousy, hypocrisy, etc. Our nature should be beautiful; it should be such that people like to welcome us.
Ego is blind!
Ego makes us believe we are superior although others around us do not think it to be so. Due to ego, we see things differently from what the world can see. It shows the right person as wrong nor does it let us accept the words of the right.
‘I am something’ is the biggest of all diseases.
The moment someone says something offensive, immediately the sense of, ‘I am something’ arises; this is the biggest of all diseases. All clashes happen because of this disease only. Only dominating over this disease is not enough; this disease ought to be ousted and eradicated from its roots.
If someone tells us, “You have no sense whatsoever”, it has a deep effect on us. And if someone introduces us as, ‘You are a collector of so and so district?’ how much would that affect us? Nothing at all; we would coolly explain to him that this is not the case. Why so? When the comment of collector has no effect, why so much of effect of the ‘you have no sense’ comment?
It is because we believe that, ‘I am one with good sense.’ This belief is called ego. So when the comment, “You have no sense’ hits our ears, the intellect immediately recognizes, “Oh, this is an adverse comment”, which creates an instant burning effect in the body. The ego does not like this and therefore it retaliates.
The inner burning effect is why we can get back on track. Only such sensation tells us that mistake has happened and therefore we can turn around. Since we have seen the days without any such burning, so the moment the discomfort of burning sensation arises, we turn back.
Param Pujya DadaBhagwan, an enlightened being reveals an easy 4-step method to help us eradicate this disease.
Let’s learn more about it….
1. A firm decision that ‘Ego is not right’. The moment we recognize, ‘Ego is harmful’ everything starts becoming straightforward.
2. Analyze how is ego harmful and how our nature without ego is beautiful.
• Life is simple but it is the ego and intellect that entangles the simple things. All the pain exists due to ego. If our ego does not interfere in the present flow of life, our life would run very smoothly and we would experience the energy and reign of God. But we allow our ego to give rise to our reign. And from there begins a series of conflicts, sufferings and miseries.
• Ego causes nothing but misery to us and to those around us as well. One insults others very badly because of egoism, which in turn gives enormous beatings. Egoism eats up all our energies. As long as the ego exists, it is bound to mess up everything. To dominate over such ego, we can tell our ego, “Why are you being egotistical? What is it that you are boasting of? Have you ever experienced a lasting peace?” If the ego is adamant to move in the wrong direction, we can immediately dominate and tell, ‘You are being obstinate and crass. But I want to win over people. I want that they all become very happy with me. I want to win them over in a way that they don’t feel any hurt. So please remain straightforward.”
• Our ego irritates others, hurts them, wounds their heart, results in clashes and conflicts. Ego is a dangerous thing. If we try to get our work done through ego and intimidation, the other person will get even more aggravated. But when we remain humble and straightforward, no one will bother us. People are always sincere to the one who does not have an ego; there is morality while dealing with such person.
• Ego condemns and complains as it sees everyone at fault. Eg. ‘The railway people are useless. They should all be fired!’ our foolish ego criticizes everything. If we really want to dominate this ego, we must not speak ill of even those who may have thrown insults at us, because whatever insults he throws at us are not due to his will, but it is a result of our own past deeds. Then, how can we complain and condemn. Doing so, we are only inviting more misery in our life.
• The ‘I understand’ ego makes one say hurtful words. ‘Why did you do this way? This is like this… You don’t understand. You don’t have any sense”, these words cause a lot of damage to our own self only. The one who really understands never takes on such a responsibility, for which his own knowledge gets obscured in future. Our interest should be such that our state of ‘knowing’’ increases. However, this ego only brings veils over our ‘knowing’. One becomes blind because of ego, and loses the state of ‘knowing.’ To dominate over such ego, even if the other person speaks negative, we will only speak positive, ‘Let me explain this to you again’, because every word spoken out of egoism carries danger. Or we can even remain silent during that time; especially if it pertains to matters of religion. Do you know if we speak sweetly in a low volume voice and gentle tone to someone, even before we finish the other person will understand?
• ‘Mine is correct’ is a big ego that makes us insist. All we must do is express our view, ‘Brother, this is how it is’; beyond that there should be no insistence. If the other person insists and we let go, we have dominated over our ego. In any difference of opinion, when we come to believe that it is my fault, we are liberated. There is no other solution. To undertake a solution is our secret egoism. Why do we look for a solution? Because it is our egoism that believes and holds onto, ‘mine is correct and his is wrong.’ Through such insistence we end up hurting others. Anything that hurts someone is wrong. Each and every human being has his or her own ‘drawing’ or perspective. In the final analysis, if we see all merely as ‘drawings’ and that these drawings are changeable, our love towards our drawings will slowly disappear.
• Ego keeps us wandering in the world; it is the biggest impediment on the path of salvation.
2. Do pratikraman. The ego will not refrain from playing its role. But we’ll remain fully aware so that every time we realize the ego dominated over us, we shall do pratikraman. Pratikraman means acknowledging and admitting our mistakes as fault. And then confess our mistakes before God with sincere repentance in our heart and take a vow to never repeat these mistakes again.
3. Never ever protect our ego. The nature of ego is to see the other as guilty and protect one’s own self! It is a habit of intellect to protect the ego and the habit of ego to always take the side of intellect. ‘I am right’ is nothing but protection of our ego. When we protect our ego, it hurts the other person. Remembering the past faults of others and reminding them at an opportune time is grave protection of our ego. We don’t want to do that! Because only when the ego dissolves it becomes possible to preserve that which is beneficial to us, and more importantly understand what is beneficial to my Self. When ego dissolves, there is complete freedom!
Ego has created nothing but a mess in our life. We can undo the mess and accomplish our goal of dominating or better eradicating our ego by surrendering to Gnani, the Enlightened One. In fact, there is no other way. So let’s go to Gnani, surrender our ego in His feet, attain Self-Realization (the knowledge of really who am I) from Him and remain under the guidance of a Gnani Purush with humility.
To know more on this, you may check out: Self Realization
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