Don’t Fake It Until You Make It — Work On It Until You Make It

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Waheed, please stand up. Read the homework I gave you yesterday. I stood up, looked at the class, and said with confidence, “Mam, I was preparing for the quiz.” And the entire class made an haaan.. sound. It was unexpected because my class performance was not the best, but I had passed the test somehow, which only belongs to performance students. She looked at me and said, but that is not the excuse for not doing your homework. The quiz is in addition to what you are already doing. I said I am sorry, mam. She stared at me for a few secs and said, don’t repeat. This class was one of my least favorite subject, ” History Class.” I got reprimanded left and right by the teacher for not doing my homework correctly. It’s not that I did not like the subject at all. I liked it just to the reading part and not to the remembering parts. I didn’t see the practicality of its usage, and it was boring to write a 15 page memorized history page. And if you write it in your own words, you won’t get proper grading for it. And because of thinking such which was different than the parameters set, I often got in trouble for not following the norm. But today, in the class, I got away with it. I was so happy that I didn’t have to do the homework, nor I had studied for the quiz, but I could use it as an excuse thinking I still have time to prepare for the quiz exam.

I wasn’t the best role model student in school. I got away with a few things because my grades were mostly above average and sometimes high. I saw school as a playing ground where a lot of friends meet. And subjects reading was a part of it. The grading system never made sense because I did not see any practicality in it even at a young age other than a job factor.

I just knew that you have to get good grades to stay out of trouble with parents and other people bothering you who loves to give you advice every time they see you 🙂 I originally come from South Asian culture, and in the society, the healthy acceptance in child and adulthood is good grades or a religious performance, and sometimes both. Another factor to the name will be your family network. And if you have acceptable levels, you can do things on the side that one wants to do, such as playing sports, video games at the time, cartoon movies, etc. Or, there is significant opposition and judgment in society. A bar is there for decisions based on pre-set parameters instead of identifying individual personas and providing an environment to grow in their strength areas.

The quiz was one week away. I didn’t do any proper homework and said that it’s okay as long as I perform the quiz examination. The teachers can only say so much. Even though this thinking was delusional on its own, I found an imaginary solution. However, the worst was, I was not preparing for the quiz, thinking that I still have time. And of course, nature teaches you lessons. I got sick in the last two days and could not prepare for the quiz. I could barely go through the portions I was supposed to be an expert at. The buzz rang, and I had no answers for the complicated questions. Each group member went through five items, and I think that I had received one or two points only. It was embarrassing as some of the classmates were attending the after-hour quiz. And the next day in class, I felt that all the eyes were me. It is not that I could not look in their eyes; it’s that I could not look into my own eyes. The humiliation did not stop there; my history teacher punished me separately as the word got out to her of my performance. I had failed in my master plan. My temporary relief had worked but only to face reality later. I had won the battle, but I lost the war.

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I learned a few lessons out of this, which shook me out in my early teenage. There were life lessons for me that I used later in life. I learned that I would never claim something without preparing for it or working for it. The long term results of faking it will catch up to you. The famous phrase, fake it til you make it eventually falls upon you. Because what is inside the bowl will come out of it. An empty box decorated nicely may sell high based on the appearance. But when the ribbon comes off and there is nothing inside, only disappointment and embarrassment follows. I also learned that healthy self-esteem is based on actual achievements and not just thinking that I can do it and never work for it. I also learned that one must continuously prepare as life is full of surprises, and you never know when your number comes. It is better to prepare and perform and find your grading than claiming it without performance.

The final lesson I learned that I should not have lied to the teacher and had stayed on my comment; I’m not too fond of this subject :)🙂🙂 It might not be the best solution, but I don’t know what I will do differently. Because I still don’t like the remembering parts of the dates :)😅😅

We all grow together. I love you all ❤️❤️❤️

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