Coping Up Gracefully From A Loss Of A Loved One
“Life and Death are happening all the time. They coexist, inseparably in every breath.” – Sadhuguru.
It is never easy to lose a loved one. It induces a vacuum in our life from their unreplenished absence. While walking the hallway, opening the fridge, listening to music, several reminders allow their memories to resurface, leaving our hearts aching and longing for their indispensable presence. Losing a loved one can be a traumatic experience for many. Studies have shown that grief comes in stages, and it can take up to 6 months to 4 years for a person to heal from this devastating experience.
Encountering this heartbreak goes through various stages. It begins with Denial when we become numb on receiving the heart-rending news. The second stage is Anger, when you might have fought hard to save the departed soul but unfortunately lost the battle. Why me? Why this? Questions circling your head, often directed towards the higher power who could have intervened to save the deceased. Third, comes Bargaining, when we contemplate what we could have done differently to prevent the loss. Followed by Depression, when we tend to get overwhelmed by our emotions, we try to isolate ourselves from others, sleep deprivation kicks in, often accompanied by the loss of appetite.
Yet, in the end, it’s acceptance, which eventually helps us move on with our lives to complete our unfinished Karma.
No matter what stage of grief we are in, there are ways to help us cope up gracefully with a loss of a loved one:
1) Cognizance: It starts with accepting the loss and allowing yourself to feel the pain, sifting and transitioning through the stages above.
2) Brotherhood of Pain: Often, looking up to others who have been through similar situations in life gives us courage. We understand that things are beyond our control, and we have to learn to cope up.
3) Trusting The Process: Healing from any loss takes time, and the best way is to allow it to follow its course. The ken that it is destiny will mitigate the perpetual suffering.
4) Seek Out Support: from your family, friends, your community. During difficult times, they are your most vital support system. Having conversations can lead to comprehending reality better and gaining comfort.
5) Take care of yourself: According to Sadhguru, understanding that the situation is heavy, if your mind is also severe, you are a part of the problem now. So try to make yourself a part of the solution in lieu.
Coping with the loss of a loved one is crucial, and no one can ever prepare for it ahead of time. Although this loss is enormous and irreparable, we should accept it as a part of God’s plan. Life and Death are the nature of human existence. We all are born to die one day. Human beings are constantly evolving, and with that comes the evolution of our thought processes, beliefs, and perception about life and Death.
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