Coming home, I forget about the person I really am sometimes.
And it is a constant fight to remember that being different is ok, even if my family doesn’t believe that.
I have spent so much of my life so unsure.
Growing up, much of my life and beliefs were contained to a bubble. And trust me, growing up in that pure and untouched bubble was perfect. I had a beautiful childhood in so many ways. And that’s why childhood is so amazing, because it is a time when you don’t have to worry about the bigger things yet.
But then you grow up. Your own ideas and personality begin to form. You try out and find your own style, you begin dating, you move out, you’re on your own, and you meet new people that align with who you are. You find the things that you like. You discover form new ideas and beliefs everyday, and its AMAZING!
This is a time of true transformation and finding yourself and learning about yourself. It is hard, challenging, eye-opening, thought-provoking, real, and all so beautiful.
I moved out, and as cheesy as it sounds, I felt like I could actually breathe. My eyes were opened and have been so open ever since. New people that I had never met before, felt familiar. And I kept finding bits of myself all over the place.
And I came from a home where I was so different and I constantly questioned who I was and where I fit in. And once I got to a place where I felt like I was understood and just seen, was so refreshing.
I finally got to realize I wasn’t actually so different. I wasn’t so crazy to believe the things I did, have the personality I do, and want to do things so differently than my family and friends.
I felt that for so long, I was actually just hiding who I was to fit into the mold I thought I was supposed to be.
And once I found the people and places that truly loved and accepted me for me, I felt like I could shed so many layers and old beliefs.
And I rediscovered me.
I’ve loved the whole journey and process to discover who me was.
I’ve met so many people that have turned into my chosen family.
And I’ve really created a life for myself that I love so much.
So maybe as hard as it is, being different is really a blessing in disguise.
You are metaphorically forced out of your comfort zone. Pushed to find people for you, a home for you, try things you never normally would, go to places you might not have considered. And its all a part of the journey to find you.
I can say from experience that I have done all the above and more. And I am so so glad that I did.
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