Can Someone Love You And Disrespect You At The Same Time?
This is generally the case! In every home, there is so much of love between people staying together; yet so frequently we get to see instances where one disrespects the other. For instance, a brother fights with his sister all day long and does not show any respect towards her. Yet, if a third person tries to tease her, he immediately comes forward and protects her. It is because he loves her dearly.
How can someone love you and disrespect you at the same time?
Here, we need to understand that what we refer to as ‘love’ is actually called ‘Attachment.’ The brother indeed has a strong attachment towards the sister, but it’s not love as yet.
It’s called love when you don’t see faults in the other person, nor do you give hurt/pain to that person…
Because where there is true love, there is no hatred, no disrespect, no irritation, no taunting, beating, or insulting; there is only natural and spontaneous forgiveness every time. Further, love remains constant. It is not something which comes and goes, or overflows and in no time disappears.
For instance, when wife wants a new dress, she will pamper her husband and request him “Can I buy a new dress? Will you come along with me to buy it?” Then, both go to the mall and buy a nice dress. On return, wife, very happily, cooks good food and serves her husband. Husband too enjoys the delicious food and the chit-chat between the two. Just then, a fight begins over why these days, the electricity bill is so very high. Husband scolds the wife for wasting electricity unnecessarily and wife gets so upset that she retorts in disrespect. She is furious even next day morning, as she bangs the cup of tea and the plate of snacks on the table!
When you love your husband or wife so much, how can you show disrespect towards them?
Wherever there is attachment, expectations automatically build up. Husband feels when I’m taking so much care of my wife, how can she be so careless? And wife too, on her part feels, when I’m taking so much care of our house, how can he scold me? We do not realize that it is our expectations which are creating problems. In true love, the expectations are minimum.
You care for that person because you genuinely love that person; that’s it; there are no other terms and conditions to it. When you love someone, you communicate peacefully and manage the situation in a manner that the other person does not feel hurt or pain. When husband and wife don’t see each other’s faults, there is peace at home. Hence, eliminate your expectations and start seeing your partner as faultless i.e. he / she is not at fault!
How is the other person not at fault?
Any pain or hurt that we encounter in life is ultimately a result of our own past deeds. Only if we have given pain or hurt to anyone earlier, do we receive hurt and pain today. This is a simple calculation – nobody can plague it!
Therefore henceforth, know that it is in your own self-interest to not give any pain or hurt to anyone. So, we shall always give respect to others even if the other person were to get mad at us because if we get mad in return, then we bind bad karma; and as a result, we will have to suffer pain in future. And if we give respect and love to partner, there is every chance that sooner or later, our partner too will reciprocate.
Moreover, when we get mad at someone, it gives the other person a reason to go wild, which means they too will bind bad karma and will have to suffer in future. How can we leave our loved one to suffer?
Let us be the first to initiate!
So, let’s resolve that at least we shall never show disrespect to the people whom we love!
And in case, someday some clash happens, Gnani, the Enlightened One, teaches us to immediately forgive the other person and seek forgiveness from that person. If we learn to do so, our life will surely be filled with peace, harmony and happiness!
Learning always becomes easy in the presence of the Enlightened being!!!
Param Pujya Dadashri says, “True Love is found in Gnani (the Enlightened being), who is free from attachments, abhorrence, sex, anger, pride, deceit, and greed. He has zero ego and is faultless! His Love is such that never increases or decreases. If someone insults him or appreciates him, he will have the same Love for them.”
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