Be Your Own Guru
Maybe it’s because I’m a Taurus, or because I inherited it from my Dad, or it could be my personality type, but I’ve always been a little skeptical of rules, regulations, and dogma. I don’t like being told what to think and how to behave. When someone tells me this or that is how I am supposed to think and act, I become quietly subversive.
It’s not that I don’t want to follow sensible rules. Some are good like rules of the road and treating people with kindness and respect. But mostly I object to religions telling me I’m not going to get into to Heaven unless I do thus and so. And every religion has their own thus and sos! How confusing is that?
It seems to me that we’re taught to question our own intuition and inner knowing. When I was getting my Religious Studies degree, I was shocked at the number of religions that controlled their adherents by the doctrines they created. What happened to free will? What happened to listening to that still small voice and following Its guidance? What happened to God is Love?
Thankfully the idea that you are your greatest source of wisdom for your life is gaining steam. After all we each have our own perception and purpose for being here. My experiences, the methods I’ve used to navigate trauma and grief, and all the lessons I’ve learned along the way, might not be the least bit helpful to you in your situation, or set of values, and experiences. You need to follow your own inner guidance.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you need to go it completely alone. There are plenty of teachers and ways you can find help when you need it. You only have to ask for help, and guidance will be given in a form that speaks to you.
When I was much younger, I did not have much confidence in myself. I didn’t think I was very lovable or effective in helping others. But I was always looking for answers to big questions. Questions like why am I here and what is my purpose? Why is this happening to me? Even as a child I asked those questions. Looking back I know I was blessed. I had spiritual parents who encouraged me to develop a personal relationship with the Divine. They lived their lives as if I could always get the answers I needed. I trusted them and was fortunate to begin a vibrant relationship with a beautiful being I believed to be God, and I did get the answers I needed.
Even so, there were times when I was overwhelmed and confused. I needed help seeing the way through my problems. In such times I’d seek out someone I trusted, or I’d read a book on spirituality that I felt would have the guidance I needed. My degrees in Religious Studies and theatre helped me see that the answers are everywhere. That the Divine is always very close by, I just had to train myself to pay attention.
When I was in my mid-twenties I went through some extremely traumatic times. I was frustrated because my life felt like a big mess. I couldn’t see any purpose to the struggles I was going through. I was angry and felt like I was completely alone. But something made me hang on and continue to ask questions. That’s when a person I trusted suggested I begin keeping a journal. I’m so grateful I listened and bought myself a notebook.
I wrote in that journal for months and after a while it seemed that every entry was the same. I was getting bored with complaining and whining. So, one day out of pure frustration, I wrote, yelling at God in my head, “What am I supposed to learning from this!?” That’s when I heard that still, soft voice. Answers began to pour out of my pen and I felt great relief. The main lesson that came through was that I had agreed to these trials so I could learn to love myself. Once I accepted that I was a participant and not a victim, a lot of things began to fall into place for me.
That day gave me the courage to keep searching for answers. I got them a little at a time. One of the biggest reminders I got was that I was the director of my own life, because I have a unique outlook. There never was and ever will be another person who has taken on what I agreed to do in this incarnation.
You are unique too! If you’re suffering, I hope you will believe me, the answers you need are at your fingertips. All you need is a little gratitude, faith, and trust that no matter what’s happening, you’ve got lots of support, both spiritual and physical. You just have to train yourself to pay attention because the answers you seek will come in amazing and miraculous ways. You are never alone!
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