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How do we free ourselves from our own mental matrix? Society’s programming kept me on a mundane routine, I was feeling trapped in a state of conformity. Go to school, work for a boss, go to college, get a degree then make lots of money. Now I am considered a successful person that is a winner.

Yay! I did it, I am living the American dream. I finally feel successful and complete inside. I am happy and accomplished. My image feels comfortable because I fit in.

I am now important…

I said, OK…I want out! As extreme as this may sound, I had to follow my way. I decided to embrace my challenges that came with going on my own path to learn, then grow from my mistakes. I knew that if I did it my way, I would learn more about myself. This would throw many complex challenges my way to become wiser, stronger and self-actualized.

This is why most play it safe and just follow the standard rules, it began from kindergarten. There is too much uncertainty when it comes to following our hearts. Humanity rather have someone feed and take care of us to feel secure in the world, with the expense of our freedom to create our own reality.

My focus was who I am supposed to be, vs who I (think) I should be based on external influences.

I had this feeling that my life could have a deeper meaning, schools do not teach us this. How to create a life full and meaning and fulfillment.

So, If I stopped watching TV for a month, stayed off social media, stop watching porn, stop listening to hip-hop, ignored politics, the news, technology, and let go of religion. Everything that was given to me from the outside, I decided to give it all back. This how we empower ourselves to experience liberation.

But what would I be like?

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Would I still like and engage in the same activities I do now, would I still be hanging around the same people? Would I still use fast food for dinner?

Would I stay working at this job? How would I feel about having a boss now? would I have dated or married this person? Would my joy, happiness, and financial life be the same?

I began to question my reality. If I wasn’t holding on to shame, guilt, and regrets, what would my life look like? Emotional baggage creates insecurities and comfort zones.

So who am I if I was in my heart space?

I realized that I would have to invest in something new, get into something different that would not be considered ordinary. I need to get out of my comfort zones because I am tired of mediocrity.

Instead of being controlled, I’d rather now be in control of my own life. Working for someone offers no real security. I don’t want to have to say I have this much money and look at my collection of cars to feel accomplished, and to feel better or higher than others.

What I really want to say is, I am so blessed that I made a positive difference in others lives. This makes me feel complete and fulfilled inside, not what I have.

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