Ask Erik: My Son Answers Questions From The Afterlife…

Ask Erik: My Son Answers Questions From The Afterlife

Ask Erik

February Edition

By Elisa Medhus, M.D.

Ask Erik is a spiritual advice column from the eternally twenty-year-old spirit guide, Erik Medhus. Through gifted medium/spirit translator, Kim Babcock, he directly answers readers’ questions on death, the afterlife, spirituality, the human experience, and more with the insight and wisdom he’s gained since his passing.


Do relatives suffering from dementia/Alzheimer’s visit living relatives prior to passing? So excited for this weekend! Can’t wait to see you again Elisa!

–Deborah B.

Hey Deb. What’s up, my lady? Well, in short, yeah, they can. It depends on the person/soul and how they use free will and also depends on their level of detachment from the physical plane. It’s really no different than shifting consciousness to focus awareness in a different area to manifest there. The key with individuals with Alzheimer’s or dementia is that they are still in the physical state, detaching from the earth realm, so it’s easier for them to shift awareness. It happens automatically like when after I died, and thought about something, then I was automatically there. It’s the same for people with Alzheimer’s/dementia.

Hi Erik,

I know I’m here to learn about self-love, but I am still a bit confused about my life’s purpose.  Can you please help me understand why I decided to incarnate into this lifetime?


–Jennifer S.

Hey Jen. Yea, I struggled with this a lot, too. I knew I could love but ultimately wasn’t grounded in it. So I experienced a lack of connection or reciprocated feelings from my friends and others around me. It sucked. You are a conscious expression, of the one vibration that holds all of life. That is your purpose. Now, to ground that, your mission in this incarnation is to expand through breaking down walls around your heart. You often take advice, love or compliments and receive them in a way that feels good to you, basically, subject to your likeness. It’s the nature of the subconscious self. You gotta break through that. Love yourself internally in the heart: not the body, but the soul self. Then, when you connect deeper into the heart, the true you, you’ll develop a stronger sense of self-lov, and faith. You’ll share this with many young adults. This will take strength and independence and will require you to break through the walls around your heart. You came into this incarnation wanting to expand in self-trust and to develop independence as well as self-love that is independent. Think about what that means. It means being free from attachments, to exist. Jen, remember, it’s okay to be vulnerable once in a while. That’s where you’ll find true power and strength because you’ll have a deeper capacity to forgive yourself.

Hey Elisa,

I’ve asked this question before but haven’t seen a response so I will ask it again. My daughter, Willow, and I have a very close relationship but we have been at each other for years. I am hard on her because she is hard-headed, strong-willed and seems to do everything the hardest way possible. Why do we have this dynamic in our relationship? Who are we to each other? I am truly trying to steer her in the direction of where she wants to go, but she keeps bucking me. Help me understand what this all about please.

Erik knows Willow. He has been with her a lot in the past, and I appreciate his words and his truth. He has always been spot on with her.

By the way, you guys are hilarious on your post about Illuminati and the joking around with Erik. I was rolling!

–Debbie S.

Hey Debbie! I want you to ponder this: Can you fight fire with fire? Does anger solve anger? No. So if you respond to resistance with more resistance, you’re creating your own hell, adding fuel to the fire. It’s subconscious most of the time. Remember to see everyone as a separate individual there on earth in their journey back Home. If your motivations are from fear, frustration and anger, you’ll experience it back ten-fold. You’re only adding to the experience that you wish to avoid. You have to step back and check your motivations. BE HONEST, TOO! You want the best for her, but you’re still coming from a place of frustration and control. The control gives you false security. Just surrender. Trust the divine will within her no matter what she has to go through to get to know herself. She pushes back because she, too, is on her own journey of self-exploration and will not let anything get in the way of that. She’s strong-willed, no doubt about that! When someone is that strong-willed, let them be. Their soul is more aligned with the Higher Self and the purpose of what they are to learn in this life Just because they may have that alignment doesn’t mean the journey is always going to be easy. What good would that do? This is an experience for you, in allowance, and for her, in self-trust. Relax your grip. Trust her.

Hi Elisa,

 Love the blog. Got both books for Christmas and read them in a couple of days. I loved them.  I have a question please: Does Erik watch sporting events? If time is linear, is there already a winner decided before a game begins? If there is free will, how could there already be a winner? I think I have read all the blog entries on time but maybe I missed one.


 –Sheldon S.

Whaddup Sheldon! Yep, of course I watch sports, I watch it all. I prefer music though, really. Time, for you, is perceived in a linear motion, but it’s not really that way. Everything that has ever happened and is in existence, is vibrationally ‘alive.’ It’ll never die. It’s immortal. But because the human mind and human nature can’t comprehend omnipresence and your awareness can only be at one place, at one time, things are perceived in a linear motion. Now, free will divides that up. When your consciousness collides with something, it is then experienced. The outcomes of sporting events are mostly based on free will but with balanced nature in purpose, too, for each individual player.


I would like to know how to help sensitive empath children to develop boundaries without suppressing their abilities.

 NB: I was told by a healer that my daughter has taken some of my emotional traumas that manifested in her as physical disease, but also I observe how she has the desire to bring everybody together and to make everybody happy which she often does for her own sake.

 I would welcome any advice on raising such children. Ideally I would like a short Erik YouTube session but anything will be hugely appreciated.

 Thank you and best wishes,

 –Elena B

Hey Elena! First, I want to remind you that at the highest level, boundaries aren’t necessary. They create division. Understanding coexistence is more important here. One must know themselves and uphold that discernment of self-awareness while around others and in any situation. This way, they can also discern what is causing them pain or struggle. It’s most likely that if someone brings others together and ultimately it’s at their expense, then they have isolation issues to deal with, and they are dealing by means of projecting. They’re projecting onto others to try to create unity because of the insecurity within with isolation and loneliness. Also, if she is hosting a vibration that manifests disease, it is ONLY at the level of self. She has, at some level, allowed this vibration. It has nothing to do with you.    

Hi Elisa

If you’re still open to questions, I have a few, but there’s one in particular that when I see this on TV, it freaks me out. It crushes me thinking of all the fear and the screaming and the knowing and maybe having your child beside you when a plane crashes, when they drop out of the sky hurtling to the ground or sea. It’s my biggest fear. What happens at this point, Erik? Do people get a choice to leave the body before they hit the ground, or do they have to sit and wait, knowing they are going to die with babe in arms? Honestly, I feel emotional thinking about that. Thanks Elisa and Erik.



Jackie, thanks for opening up to me. This is a thought that many have pondered. Truthfully, it is relative to the soul’s mission with the incarnation as to what they’ll experience. Think of the incarnation as a tool used to access the greatest self through a variety of experiences. These experiences provide expansion and growth. In situations like this, most individuals don’t feel the physical pain or trauma. They usually hit a “numb” state in absolute and complete surrender. This vibration, though, is pure and carries the soul through the experience and to the Other Side.

This emotional fear of yours is related to a past life. You, however, were the pilot. You carried the burden of the families aboard your aircraft as you knew it was going to crash. Mechanical engine trouble caused the aircraft to malfunction, so that it was out of your control. Unfortunately, you blamed yourself and still carry the burden, emotionally. Work on surrendering that, knowing it was out of your hands. Also, rest assured, my dear, that you won’t be playing that one over again in this life. It’s ok to fly again!

On another note, you need to address your fear of dying. You know, consciousness survives a physical death, so now you need to embody that and transmute the fear of dying. It’s another level of surrender.


Here’s my simple question for Erik: Does Erik know my son Evan DeWan (De One & Only?)  We lost our son, Evan, 4 years ago (Sept. 1, 2012) in a car accident.  He was 24 years old at the time.  In a healing session I had with a friend a few years ago, I communicated with Evan, and he asked me to pray for his friend, Erik — with a “k.”   When I recently stumbled upon your book & website for your son, Erik, I thought maybe this was perhaps the same Erik I was praying for?  

Whether or not it is your Erik, I’m still wondering if they know each other. My son, Evan, was extremely interested in quantum physics, and it has led me on a journey of discovery of the afterlife as well.  I feel like I know you, and I follow your website very closely.

–Christine D.

Hey Christine! Evan is my dude! We’re good buds. He keeps me grounded. (Erik says this while laughing with a smile as he throws his head back.) Evan brings me perspective and shares his stories with me. He dealt with betrayal like I did with some of my friends. Evan isn’t afraid to test the limits and push the envelope. That’s what I like about him. I work hard to keep truth in my voice since so many speak for me, so Evan helps me that way, too. That’s why he asked that you pray for me. Yeah, you heard him all right, and that’s not been the last of it. He’s a lot like me, wanting to stay connected to the earth realm and help people deal with shit. That why we’re good friends.

Hi Elisa,

Very good morning. Here is my question for Ask Erik. I will be grateful if this gets included in the list –

I try to talk to Erik and also with my deceased father using my imagination, but I am not sure if it is all my imagination or if I am really talking to them. Can Erik please tell me?  Also, can he give me a few tips on how I can make myself better at communicating with him or with my deceased father? Thanks you very much, Elisa and Erik.

–Manoj S.

Hey Manoi! Your imagination is the place where I’ll come in and communicate with you, or anyone else for that matter. But, a couple things I want you to remember: Don’t imagine. Don’t force information to flow through. Come from a place of reception. Receive instead of thinking or creating. Allow all visions to unfold and images to take place in the space of the imagination. This is the open active window that connects you to the Other Side. Be mindful of what you feel and try to turn the mind off. The mind is going to want to engage, react, analyze, rationalize, etc. You have to learn to quiet all of that first, then you’ll be open for us to come in and communicate. Trust yourself in the process.

What are my guides names and do they have any messages?

Thank you, Elisa!

–Wendy M.

Wendy, always remember that your guides are basically other aspects of yourself developing a new dynamic of self in this incarnation. Names aren’t really that important as much as knowing how you’re influenced in this life. If you need a name, you can connect with Orie and Suzanne, but you went by “Annette” in the incarnation of Suzanne. Both of these are other aspects of yourself that have already experienced other incarnation. Now, they’re guiding you through this incarnation, helping you develop a new level of self-awareness. Messages? Well, BREATHE. Your guides and I want you to relax. Take a breather and slow down. You can’t do it all, and in this incarnation, you gotta accept limits. Accept that some things in life will have to wait. Keep stillness in your heart so you don’t get overwhelmed.

Dear Elisa,

My question for Erik, in case you have the chance to ask him, is the following: Will there come a time (Earth linear time) when we human beings won’t need pain and suffering any more in order to learn our lessons?

Thank you! Love and Blessings,


Hey fancy Nancy! This question has many, many dynamics. First, understand that we don’t necessarily “need” pain and suffering to expand. That’s a form of conditional thinking. It’s an old thinking pattern. When we believe in pain, we falsely validate it and employ it into our reality, but, we don’t need it. It’s an illusion that humans create, host, carry and enslave themselves to! But you don’t have to. It’s the ego causing you to suffer and feel pain. As the veils of the ego continue to lift and the universal vibration rises, the ego will be transmuted and dissolved. As the momentum of life continues and full consciousness is realized, mankind will move closer to being One again. When the last piece aligns, universal consciousness will become aware of Itself, as a whole. It’ll completely align and, in a flash, all will exist only among the highest,, purest vibration, Love. Everything will neutralize, after canceling out opposing levels of consciousness so that all will become One.

If you believe in pain, you believe in a false way, a way that is not true to the heart or your existence and purpose for life. Your belief in this will grow weary because it is not truth and even subconsciously hosting that idea will become impossible. Love is the only thing that can stand the test of time. Everything else will naturally fall away. Your purpose, along with every other soul, is to recognize the pure self, the true self in the heart, (amid all conditions) that does not have to identify with pain. You’ll become aware that your true existence is outside of the pain bodies you’ve falsely identified with. This is why the masses are seeking, through self-direction, “something higher” that speaks to their heart. Universal consciousness is quickly shifting to a higher vibration so that humans simply won’t be able hold onto a false awareness anymore. It’ll become too taxing.

When we return Home, we realize that even the imperfections were perfect all along. We were just looking through the wrong lens. (Erik has a soft sweet, closed-mouth smile as he talks about this and shares his happiness.)


Erik Medhus is an eternal twenty-year-old young man who passed away on October 6, 2009. From his new place in Heaven, Erik’s main occupation is as a spirit guide who helps those who struggle with their human experience, and he is the inspiration and contributor to the Channeling Erik blog and community. With candor, sincerity, and humor, Erik shares his own full story, My Life After Death, A Memoir from Heaven (September, 2015).

An internist in Houston for over thirty years, since her son’s suicide in 2009, Dr. Elisa Medhus retired her practice and has written a book about her continuing relationship with him, My Son and the Afterlife: Conversations from the Other Side (October 2013) and has created a blog,, that has over 30,000 subscribers and over 250,000 hits per month. Read the blog daily to catch the next call out for questions for the Ask Erik column.

Subscribe to their Facebook Page, Channeling Erik.

Psychic medium Kim Babcock has been developing her spirituality for the past ten years. Kim’s spiritual path led her to become an ordained minister and founder of Serenity- Mind Body Spirit LLC in mid-eastern Ohio, where Kim currently practices her psychic medium services and level II Reiki. She also leads meditation classes and spiritual development workshops. Learn more at


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