Are You Available For Joy?…

Are You Available For Joy?

I’ve been contemplating this a lot lately. We all say that we want to be happy, but who really embodies happiness and joy on a regular basis? With all the challenges of modern-day living, I find that we are good at pursuing happiness, but not so good at actually reaching out and CLAIMING it for ourselves.

If you would have asked *Kacey five years ago* what she needed in order to be happy and successful, she would have listed things like: become sober from alcohol, plant a firm foundation financially, heal old wounds that have held me back in the past, create a loving and committed partnership, land in a healthy body that I can sustain easily and consistently, and create a career out of my life’s purpose.

HOLY COW!!! Mission accomplished!!! Wow. It blows my mind that I have every single thing on that list in the life I’m living right now. I am so freaking grateful for the work that I’ve done and for everyone who has supported me along the way.

So, if I really do currently have everything that I need to be happy and experience joy, why isn’t it…easier? 

Why doesn’t the joy come more naturally and with more vigor? Now that I’ve *arrived* here, why isn’t the joy oozing out of my pores, both literally and figuratively?!?

I have found in my work with myself and with my clients that this is primarily a nervous system issue. Our bodies, emotions, and thoughts have all been intertwined (in yoga we call these Samskara) in a way that makes for pretty strong unconscious and habitual patterns inside of us. When we face the circumstances of our lives and repeatedly go into the emotions of fear, panic, helplessness, overwhelm, etc., we condition our nervous systems to expect to experience these challenging emotions and sensations, which makes them more inevitable. Like attracts like.

It’s almost like the feelings of joy and happiness and ease have become FOREIGN to us, because we have been experiencing the opposite so frequently for so long.

This isn’t your fault. The world, the media, and social media constantly flood our systems with all sorts of thoughts, emotions, and sensations that feel out of our control. It’s easy to let it take you down a road you didn’t want to go.

The trick is to make it so that joy and happiness don’t feel so foreign to your body and your system.

We have to help our bodies to feel safe to experience the good stuff, so that it can recognize joy and happiness more easily and allow us to live in that place more often.

Where do you start? Wherever joy and happiness already exist for you.

Start in whatever pockets of coherence you can find for yourself and build and expand them from there. Whatever makes you smile, whatever makes you laugh, whatever makes your heart feel free and light, start there. Enjoy it more than ever. Let it in deeply, all the way.

Perhaps it’s getting out in and appreciating the beauty and majesty of nature. Perhaps it’s adventuring with your children and seeing the world through their eyes. Maybe it’s in the snuggle of your animals or the way your favorite jammies feel at night or the way your spoon swirls as you stir your nightly cup of tea.

Remember, it’s safe to experience joy and happiness in your life. 

I know it might sound weird to think of *teaching* yourself to experience joy. Change rarely just happens magically, even the good stuff that seems like it should come easily. Here’s to re-training our nervous systems to be with the good stuff. It starts with noticing and expanding what you already have.


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Kacey Kingry


Kacey is a life coach and a yoga teacher. She uses the ancient wisdom of yoga to coach her clients…

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