I’ve been together with my wonderful girlfriend for more than three years. I love her and she loves me. It’s perfect. But is our relationship really that perfect? Yes, it is, at least now. There has been a time when it was anything but perfect. We cried, we had arguments, and we almost broke up.
You might want to know what saved us. The answer is meditation.
I’m sorry if I have to disappoint you, but that’s the truth. We didn’t go to couple’s therapy and we didn’t try hypnosis. The only thing we did was to sit down and to breathe in and out for ten minutes a day. That’s the whole secret and here’s why you should give meditation a shot.
1) A Happier Self Leads to a Happier Relationship
You can’t have a happy relationship if you are unhappy with your life. It’s simply not possible. You will always doubt your marriage because you doubt your life and yourself. It’s a vicious cycle, but meditation can help you stop it. Meditating made me a happier person and it made my girlfriend happier too. As a result, we were more content with what we had instead of thinking about the things that we don’t possess.
2) You Stop Expecting the Impossible
The sad truth is that our culture encourages us to have completely unrealistic expectations about marriage. We are told that we have to find the one, our soulmate, our perfect partner who’ll make us happy. However, we are not told that this special someone has flaws, problems and that their job is to support us but not to make us happy. Meditation allowed me to focus on what’s important and what’s true. It helped me to overcome these ridiculous expectations and to appreciate the reality that’s in front of me now.
3) No Stress, No Arguments
Why do couples argue?
I know, it’s a tricky question, but I believe that the number one cause of every argument is stress. If you and your spouse would be relaxed, you wouldn’t have an argument, at least not one that ends with flying household items. The more you meditate, the less stressed you will feel and the fewer arguments you will have.
4) You Can Finally Focus on the Conversation
In case you are a woman, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Men are famous for not listening. I’m guilty of that too. My girlfriend told me something and boom, two seconds later I had already forgotten it. Thanks to meditation I can now listen and actually remember what she says.
5) You are Patient When it’s Needed the Most
Sometimes you need to be patient. You are both not perfect. You make mistakes and you do things that annoy your spouse. That’s normal. Unfortunately, a lot of married couples turn a triviality into a huge problem. They completely overreact. Instead of being patient, they are getting overwhelmed by their emotions. I am not the only one who discovered that meditation can improve your relationship.
6) You Become Aware of Your Negative Emotions
What’s the number one threat for a marriage? No, it’s not the secret lover. There’s one thing that’s even worse. It’s the thought that there is a secret lover even though there isn’t one. False accusations, artificial drama, and jealousy attacks can kill every marriage. My advice: breathe in before you overreact and breathe out before you accuse your partner of something that only exists in your head.
7) You Worry Less about the Future
Will he leave me for someone else? What if we get a divorce? These are all worries that married people know too well. In most cases, there is no logical explanation for them. They are just in your head. Meditation helps you identify them and get them out of your head.
8) Self-Love Leads to a More Loving Relationship
You can only love someone if you love yourself. This sounds like a cliché but it’s the truth. I experienced it firsthand. The more I meditated, the more I loved myself. And the more I loved myself, the more I allowed myself to love my partner.
9) You Do Something Together
Most married couples spend so little time together. He watches the sports channel with his buddies. She talks to her friends on the phone. Most married couples don’t spend any time together and this can become poison for a relationship. Meditation can be a great way to do something together and spend precious time getting to know not only yourself, but your partner as well.
10) You Develop Mutual Goals
It’s about more than spending time together. Meditation helps you to grow together. You develop mutual goals and plans for the future. The more you grow, the more you want to experience this process. This can be the missing piece to a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage.