By Elisa Medhus, M.D.
Ask Erik is a spiritual advice column from the eternally twenty-year-old spirit guide, Erik Medhus. Through gifted medium/spirit translator, Kim Babcock, he directly answers readers’ questions on death, the afterlife, spirituality, the human experience, and more with the insight and wisdom he’s gained since his passing.
Hello, Dr. Elisa Medhus.
My question is: What is my talent, my life mission/purpose? To elaborate, what am I meant to do in this lifetime because I feel like I fail at everything I attempt to do, and I’m always falling short. My depression has caused me to not care about my health, which makes it hard for me to take care of other responsibilities. I’ve tried soul searching, but I just feel like I can’t do anything right and feel worthless. I’ve pretty much battled with trying to find my place for a long time, but it’s taken its toll on my mental and physical well-being more recently over the last two years. To simplify the question, why am I here?
Please help, Erik or whichever medium you’ll be using for this question.
P.S. Thank you for everything you do on your blog and best wishes.
Lisa, your trust in me, my mom and everything we are trying to do is huge, so thank you for opening your heart, here. First, there is something major you have to work on: mindfulness. Although we may fail a million fucking times over and over, try again, but how you try is most important. All too often we fail day in and day out at being mindful. We don’t even give ourselves a chance at something because of where our consciousness is hanging out and that’s usually in the past. In order to truly make a difference and experience change, you have to practice mindfulness. This means to be in the NOW. Now, I know you’ve heard this before, but too often, Lisa, you are letting the past determine the outcome of your future. I know it’s hard to even have hope sometimes. Trust me, I’ve been there, and honestly, it’s not even about having hope. It’s about just breathing and existing in the Now moment, every moment. We have painful pasts and struggles that we never want to revisit in memory, but if we focus and center our consciousness in the present, we can start fresh every time. How amazing is that? It’s a miracle, if you really think about it. So before you can even prepare to ask yourself what your life’s purpose is, you have to identify with the present moment and not be defined by the past.
Acknowledge the emotions you’ve had that are attached to past events, and release them. You are allowing those attachments to those old emotions to determine your future experiences and to determine who you are so you’re not giving yourself a fair chance. Work on grounding yourself by journaling your emotions. This way you can own them, and release them. Your spiritual mission here is to determine who you are and to find that through writing. As you search for your True Self, you have to start at the very foundation: that the answer is always within, not without
My question is to my angels or my Higher Self. In my present relationship, my partner and I have many things in common. However, we also have some important areas in which we are on opposite sides of the spectrum. Is it worth it for me to invest more time and effort on this particular relationship?
Hi Olga! Yes! One of the biggest misconceptions in today’s society is that if we don’t have common interests, then we shouldn’t “waste our time.” We often overlook the value in differences. The polarities you are experiencing are teaching you about yourself. So yes, there is value here in this relationship. This is a soul investment you have made. Remember to always have inner space, meaning always allow room for personal growth even if it’s through a relationship where you don’t see eye-to-eye on everything 100% of the time. This is a magical window that we often overlook: the opportunity for growth.
When we meditate we tap into a deeper level of consciousness, but why doesn’t it work for me as much? Thank you!
Elloo Nehaa. Thank you for trusting me! Now, the answer is getting you to trust you. Trust is something you need to sharpen and understand, not just the ability to trust but the “why” behind that trusting. Ask yourself that. I bet the answer is because you want a deeper connection with yourself and the universe or a deeper sense of self. So, first, you have to trust why you want this connection. Also, you really have to believe that you have the capacity. You do! No one else has a hierarchy of abilities over you to “tap in” or “tune in,” but they may have a stronger capacity to trust and believe. Work on these two key elements, and you’ll also see me when you find the essence of you!
Kim: He’s giving me a visual of him being there when Nehaa finally reaches the point where she connects to her Higher Self. Erik will be there to assist.
In the quest of higher consciousness that you seek, you have to always remember that you are not seeking to tap into something that is outside of you. Instead, you’re peeling away the old layers of you and allowing the existence of the organic you to surface. This is the true connection to self through any form of meditation.
If we come from God where we know Him intimately and we return to Him where we will again know Him intimately, then why do we have to come to Earth and seek Him out here as if we never knew Him?
Mmm, mmm, mmm. We have a lot to talk about here, Nancy. I can write a whole book on God, the existence of and our beingness within God. First, take a second look at the way your question is phrased. “If we come from God.” Okay, let me stop you here. The word “from” indicates separation, so start here: Instead of thinking of it as, “We come from God,” think of it like this. We are the being of God or the being-ness of God is in us all. Also, we are not here to “seek” God. We are here to allow God, God’s existence. Ponder that for a while. We all uphold a mixture of vibrations that formulates our being, but the common thread among all of us is that vibration of God in us all.
God isn’t a separate being that we have to work to find our way back to or even to earn a residence with. Instead, God IS being, so we allow the existence of God within us. God is life. Therefore, anything and everything with life can be called God. We all know God is infinite. God holds no stops to or from anything. God is continuous, everywhere in everything all of the time.
Nowadays, societal rules have us believing that we have to earn a place with God and that to know God we have to do “good” and repent the “bad.” Society also limits where God can flow and determines, through ego, where God exists. But the sad thing is that as we search for the true essence of God, we keep missing it, and through our egocentric faults and failures, new societal regulations are born about what/who God is and where God is. This is because through our ego we need control and understanding, and as we misunderstand our true selves time and again, we adapt to fallacies and create a false self, thus pulling us further away from our True Self, our God being.
So, though I could talk for an eternity to you about God and explain this to you, I’ll wrap it up as best I can for you Nancy. Stop seeking. Stop searching. As long as you seek and search outwardly, you will be unfulfilled. Instead, allow God’s existence within you. Allow. No rules. No limitations. No boundaries. No parameters. No specifications or fallacies created by religions, spiritualists or anyone else. You have to unlearn everything that society has taught you about God, let that all go, and allow God’s being within you.
I’d love to know what the past life connection is to my nut allergies. It just seems strange. Why it is so severe that the body detects them (certain proteins) as a foreign substance when a healthy nuts/seeds diet is what we’re evolving to? Will a past life session heal this or will it just heal over time?
Rebecca, this has nothing to do with a past life. This is about the realization of the True Self through consciousness, connecting the whole essence of the body to the whole essence of the soul and unifying in that way. You have begun to see your very own beautiful body as the enemy because it cannot or does not do what you wish. You bring in the ego. The body is not in alignment with your conscious mind, and this is where allergies are born. You must separate from ego enough to not make the body and its reactions the enemy. This is also how immune disorders are born: a deep-rooted thorn from the ego that provokes the body in a way that turns our conscious mind away from the body, viewing it as the enemy because it is not or does not do what we want.
Practice accepting self on a much deeper level. The body is never the enemy. Our division from our consciousness is because this is the playground for the ego.
Kim (to Erik): Man this is really powerful, and you sound so developed and divine when you speak to this.
Erik (Smiling and placing his hand on his heart like “scouts honor” sort of thing): But my pack is the divine now. I’m a boy scout of the divine pack.
My name is Ardian C. from Livonia, MI. I have a couple of medical condition that very little are known about and little to no treatments. Does Erik know of any spiritual way or certain medications that could help me or if Erik could heal me?
Well, Ardian, my friend, this question is something I see so often and have even dealt with myself: having bodily things happen that you feel out of control with and “conquered” by. First, as you have probably heard me say, do know that there is value in this experience for your soul. You are advancing simply because you are searching for purpose and meaning. Sometimes these very experiences move us in a way that make us think deeper, feel deeper and search deeper for who we are. Always remember, the True Self, the true essence of who you are is not your body and its limits.
You have chosen this incarnation for growth and development away from ego, and you are doing so through illness. We must let go of what the ego tells us that we are and allow the essence of our True Self to surface. The key here is allow. One will never know their True Self if they force themselves into an identity, beliefs and understanding of any of it. It’s quite the opposite. To get to our True Selves: Allow. That is the spiritual mission you have chosen. The more you resist the illness, the more it will define you.
I hope this helps you cope because it is not my duty nor your mission to find a cure.
Erik puts his hand on his heart to convey very deep compassion here.
What is the reason for disabilities in innocent children? Why do that to them and their families? Is that what we deserve? Did we do something? Is that God’s will, and is He choosing to do that as a punishment or as a lesson for us, the children or the people around us?
Carie, you send this question with bravery, and I thank you because hopefully through my explanation, many will find fulfillment.
First, God does not punish, never has, never will. It is only the ego that punishes. I’ll explain in a bit. Second, there truly is no such thing in the universe as “deserve.” That is a manmade concept and is a false awareness. The word “deserve” is a verb in my book. It’s an action word, and things truly happen because of the value of its existence. It only looks bad because we have an egocentric awareness that says, “I deserve better,” or “They don’t deserve that.”
Now, as I said earlier, God does not punish. Only our ego punishes through life in the physical form. Let me explain. If we live a life that is egocentric, which these days is far too easy, then we have a skewed version of our true authentic consciousness. Egocentric views hold thoughts of deserving all that is good, neglecting what is contrary, then blaming God when life experiences don’t align with our egocentric desires. Kids only seem to suffer because our egocentric view says, “She’s a kid, and my belief is that life should be perfect for kids,” and when it’s not, the ego needs to blame something or someone. So naturally the ego will deflect and point outward to God. Also, when we come in and say things like, “Hi, sweetie. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You don’t deserve this,” then we are sharing our skewed consciousness with the child and changing their perspective. It’s an attachment we have to the belief that all should be perfect for children. But again, I remind you, polarities of experience have great value, and it’s our attachment that gives rise to heartache. Also, there is no hierarchy surrounding who should have illnesses or disabilities.
I hope this brings understanding to you. Let your heart accept and begin to heal, my friend.
My question for Erik is:
My husband is wonderful to every other person but me. When times get stressful, which happens a lot actually because one of our kids needs 24-hour care, he blames me. I guess you could call it verbal abuse. He mostly denies this even happens. What is the spiritual basis for living a life of abuse but wanting to stay with that person because of the good times and kids?
Thanks, Elisa! Much love!
Hi Beth. I know exactly what this is, and I’m going to bravely make a sexist comment here. Men, in general, have a difficult time being vulnerable, and sometimes they have the hardest time being vulnerable to the ones closest to them. This is largely due to the outdated tradition that men have to be the “rock” of the family, the strong one. Sometimes, this is a product of how they were raised but other times it’s due to the inability to allow vulnerability, plain and simple. Your husband is very fear-based in his actions. He fears not having control and already feels a loss of control to a large degree. He’s also centered in ego. Ego does not recognize the true authentic divine self and therefore cannot identify with it in others so this brings about abuse.
This is a perfect case in point to show why free will is so valuable. It’s a gift. We have the awareness and free will to allow us to make necessary changes. If you allow yourself to be vulnerable to him and with him, this will help soften his edges.
Blessings of grace and wisdom to you and your family.
I want to know if euthanasia for people would interfere or mess up one’s contract that they made. I believe so strongly in helping people pass when there is so much suffering and no hope.
Karen, euthanasia, along with anything and everything else in existence, does not interfere with a contract. Think of it like this. Everything that is happening is allowed to be and is available to happen because of the purpose behind it. The world will keep spinning and mankind will continue to advance as you accept that everything that happens has purpose. To say that it is out of control or interfering is really like saying it is out of alignment with the beingness of God, and though you may be on either one side of the spectrum or the other, you can never not be on the spectrum. And another side thought to chew on: You never have permission to changes another’s journey, so, if it isn’t meant to happen, it won’t be able to happen. Have peace of mind in this.
Erik, what are people who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder here on this Earth to learn in this lifetime?
Andre, I love this question! It’s so dynamic. Suffering is only experienced because of the ego and the attachments that live in the ego. Narcissistic people are egocentric people who have strong attachments to ideations and seek false fulfillment through the illusion of having control. Yes, having control is mostly an illusion. Now, there are even different types of control. A monk’s definition of control is going to be very different from a scientist’s definition of control. Think about that.
Narcissistic people only suffer because of their own expectations and the attachments they have to those expectations. For these people, they need to learn trust and allow the essence of their being to just be. Trust divine will. They should learn the meaning of
Tathaastu, the Sanskrit word for “So be it.”
Erik smiles really big with his lips closed. Then he blows kisses and walks away with his hands in his front jean pockets.
Erik Medhus is an eternal twenty-year-old young man who passed away on October 6, 2009. From his new place in Heaven, Erik’s main occupation is as a spirit guide who helps those who struggle with their human experience, and he is the inspiration and contributor to the Channeling Erik blog and community. With candor, sincerity, and humor, Erik shares his own full story, My Life After Death, A Memoir from Heaven (September, 2015).
An internist in Houston for over thirty years, since her son’s suicide in 2009, Dr. Elisa Medhus retired her practice and has written a book about her continuing relationship with him, My Son and the Afterlife: Conversations from the Other Side (October 2013) and has created a blog, channelingerik.com, that has over 30,000 subscribers and over 250,000 hits per month. Read the blog daily to catch the next call out for questions for the Ask Erik column.
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Psychic medium Kim Babcock has been developing her spirituality for the past ten years. Kim’s spiritual path led her to become an ordained minister and founder of Serenity- Mind Body Spirit LLC in mid-eastern Ohio, where Kim currently practices her psychic medium services and level II Reiki. She also leads meditation classes and spiritual development workshops. Learn more at kimsdivineconnection.com.